In a move that absolutely nobody saw coming in the great, pearl-clutching metropolis of Danbury Connecticut, the city brass has decided it’s high time to brutally squash the local buzz. Their target? A little joint down on White Street operating under the delightfully optimistic moniker of Cali Exotic Smoke Shop. The crime? Allegedly peddling the Devil’s Lettuce without first paying the proper bureaucratic ransom—excuse me, “licensing fees”—to the great state of Connecticut.
Earlier this October, the city officially dragged the shop’s parent company into civil court. The lawsuit, undoubtedly drafted by lawyers wearing ill-fitting suits and deeply serious expressions, whines that Cali Exotic is selling cannabis products without the government’s expensive blessing. Under the sacred, golden statutes of Connecticut law, you can only sling weed if you possess a magical piece of paper declaring you a certified “retailer, hybrid retailer, or dispensary facility.” Shockingly, Cali Exotic was flying bareback without any of the above.
But the sheer, ridiculous magnitude of the investigation is the real kicker. To take down this lone convenience store, the Danbury Police Department’s elite Special Investigations Division apparently couldn’t just walk in, buy a suspicious pre-roll, and write a ticket. No, they had to assemble the bureaucratic Avengers. They dragged in the Department of Consumer Protection, the bean-counters at the Department of Revenue Services, and—just in case the vibes got entirely too weird—the Department of Mental Health and Addiction Services.
It takes a village, apparently, to make sure absolutely nobody scores unauthorized weed next to the stale Doritos.
Dabbin-Dad Newsroom
