Needed time away from the house

I love my family, my wife and kids are everything that I need in life to keep me waking up each day.  I love seeing their smiling faces in the morning.  I wish I had the energy my girls have in the morning, they are going at 100% from the second their little eyes open.  As some readers might know, I do not sleep very much on a daily basis, maybe 4 hours.  I’m typically on a computer 10-12 hours a day because of work, grad school, and of course Dabbin Dad.  I feel drained a lot of time, like I need a break. I find solace in being alone with my thoughts.  My wife is always there for me ,but sometimes with my PTSD, I find it overwhelming.  I felt I hadn’t left the house in days.  Normally, I do not have time to go out and and hangout with my friends, but maybe once every few months I meet the guys at the bar for a couple refreshments.  I was long overdue and after the chaos of last week, I snapped and proceeded to meet up with three of my good buddies. The night was fun, but like always, the next morning I woke with a terrible feeling in my stomach.  The VA medication and alcohol do not mix, or should I say mix too well.  The interaction had me feeling no pain that night, but when it came to the morning… it was only pain.  I can have 2 or 8 drinks and the outcome is always the same.  It’s not like the old days, hahaha (I can hear my father’s voice).  Alcohol is not worth it too me, to others it maybe fine.  I don’t like who I become when I drink, I have no real control and I don’t listen to my conscience.  By no means, do I get violent or become “that guy”, but I do make some questionable decisions that I wouldn’t normally make. I definitely feel cannabis should be a recreational alternative to alcohol.  I never made a questionable decision while high, but I’ve made quite a few while drinking. It was not fun to wake up the next morning with a killer stomach ache and have to be a parent. I think my days of drinking are behind me.