The night before Halloween, All Hallows Eve, Devil’s Night. This was an event like no other. Every time is the first time at one of these… This was a Halloween party that hit me like a truck through a circus tent 🎪. Amazing people, cricket eaters, weed smoking stripper nuns, bondage bunny dabtenders, and major explosions. It was an extraordinary event that left me staggering.
This was an afternoon into the evening type of event. It was on like Donkey Kong from the moment I arrived. That’s when the rain started.
I had already arrived with a head full of gummy‘s. I get lost in those things, you know? They’re all sour and yummy and sweet and you quickly lose track of how many you have eaten. Now I’m wondering what the number yellow sounds like as the rain makes a cacophony across my brow. There’s no way to light a joint in all this moisture. But I’m gonna give it that old Boy Scout try anyway…
That’s when DabbinDad arrived. He was dressed like a bald eagle but looked a little bit more like Foghorn Leghorn. I was upset that he didn’t come as a wildebeest. It’s his spirit animal. He landed in a puddle and splashed everybody around him. Some were displeased by his actions but the moisture was already there, he just happen to kick it all back up in the air again.
“Free Dabs!” Roared from DabbinDad’s Dad. He yelled it so goddamn loud he almost blew himself over.
32 were on the board this round. It seems the Dab-bar is now competing with Baskin Robbins. 32 flavors baby. Life is good.
Once I got to the front of the line I was greeted by the leather bondage bunny Dab-tender. I told her that I needed a glaze donut and a bottle of anything to go. 
“You’ll take the Dab and finish it. If you don’t finish it, I’ll kick your ass.”
She gave me a giant dab of death star and sent me packing. I finished the dab… I’m old and I don’t think I could withstand the beating.
The line for free dabs remained constant through the entire day even with the rain. Nobody cared…
Oh JESUS CHRIST who invited this guy? 🤣
This is nothing to stare at with a head full of dabs and edibles.
Yah… Things get weird here. What can I say?
Then Joe released Cthulhu with the spell of The Mighty Wonder Joint. The buzz cut through me like a cold breeze. Or maybe because I was wet from the rain and it got a little breezy. Regardless, this sucker was large and in charge.
I was pie eyed and bushy tailed as I could hear the volume of the music increase. People began to gather at the center. What could be going on? So I headed towards the sounds of deep bass. I was grabbed by the magnet of unconventional attraction and it pulled me toward the nucleus of the bizarre HIGHBAZAAR. The closer I got to the core, the more idiosyncratic the world around me became.
I passed Jesus again and noticed his roman numerals were wrong (CDXX) and then ran into a skeleton. This wasn’t just any skeleton of course. This one displayed a mastery of jugglery. Balancing, flipping, and spinning… It made me a little dizzy. 😵💫
Just as I screwed my head back on tight, I found myself mystified by the Hooping Arts. This art has been embraced by both children and adults alike since 500BC. These happy hoops are usually seen spinning around ones waist, neck, or any other limb. In this case it seemed as though she could do all at the same time. I’m dizzy again. I think I’ll be putting these gummies away now.
A nun is normally a woman whom has devoted her life to faith. They generally live in a convent under firm rules of obedience, poverty, and chastity. That wasn’t happening here… This was The Madonna’s Rebel. A performance of systematic movement leading to displays of dance combined with acrobatics all centered around a shiny silver pole. Demonstrations of strength and flexibility were displayed while mostly dressed like a nun and puffin’ on a doober. This was the nerve centre. Now the sun was going down.
As the sun went down, some of the people went away. Then everyone’s creepy lines of lights came out and became homing beacons for the strange. People like me.
It had been raining again, so I sought refuge at the bad girls buds exhibit. It’s a place that I generally like to stop at high bazaar, they’re always super friendly here. As a popped in under the tent to seek a moment to dry I said “Hey Fyre, can I…”
“John, what can I get for you this round?” She replied and then turned to speak with an attendee. When she turned back around she found my eyeball pressed up against one of her jars of Wedding Cake with my tongue wrapped around it like Cthulhu’s tentacle.
“Would you like some of the Wedding Cake?” She asked.
I simply nodded in excitement. She gave me a bunch of peach rings too. And then suddenly…
After multiple explosions the night came to a close and everyone stopped to pose with the local demon before calling it a night. Then we all headed over to The Cellar on Threadwell for some fancy tots and beverage.
