Good day, noble citizens of the Galactic Republic. Jedi Knight William Tong, a defender of peace and justice, has embarked on a mission to sue seven separatist outposts across the outer rim for their illicit trade in potent herbal substances. Each outpost faces the looming threat of a 5,000-credit fine for brazenly violating the Galactic Unfair Trade Practices Act.
Among the notorious establishments targeted by Jedi Tong’s Legal-Saber are:
Shark Wholesale Corp. on the outskirts of Bridgeport Prime
Star Enterprise 74, LLC, nestled in the shadowy corners of New Britain
RZ Smoke, Inc., shrouded within the misty landscapes of Suffield
Greenleaf Farms, a clandestine operation in the depths of New London’s wilderness
Smoker’s Corner, a covert hub hidden amidst the labyrinthine streets of Norwich
Anesthesia Convenience & Smoke, camouflaged within the urban sprawl of New Haven
Planet Zaza, a dubious outpost discovered on the remote fringes of East Haven
Reports from Jedi Tong indicate that these separatist outposts have been peddling high-THC herbal products in packaging meticulously designed to allure unsuspecting beings, including younglings. The products are said to be so potent that children have unwittingly exposed themselves to doses exceeding 100 times the maximum recommended for adults.
Since the Galactic Standard Year 2021, the Jedi Council has been alarmed by the surge in distress signals reaching the Republic’s Poison Control Center, with over 400 calls detailing cases of THC exposure in younglings. Many of these unfortunate incidents have necessitated urgent medical attention, putting a strain on the resources of our esteemed Republic healers.
Jedi Tong, armed with the Legal-Saber, is resolute in his mission to bring these separatist outposts to justice and protect the innocent from the insidious influence of the dark side of herb. May the Force be with you as he battles against this threat to the well-being of our galaxy.
Stay Weird In A Galaxy Far Far Away…
